Day 24: N and The Big Plot Twist

Day Today Dating started here on the moment after N and I broke up. I never really described him in much detail because, well, it was just too painful. All you need to know is that we were compatible and genuinely great together. The past 23 days since N and I separated have been a complex, emotional journey. Some days, I felt invincible and empowered to move on. Other times, the most trivial thing triggered old memories and I’d miss him desperately. Hell, I even started (online) dating. What was unchanging was the fact that our views on long-term commitment weren’t aligned. Or so I thought…

On Friday, after nearly three weeks of silence, I received a text message from N. “I need to see you today. We need to talk.” My pulse froze. After the painful journey of conquering heartbreak, I was completely shocked to hear from him. What did he want to tell me? And, why now? Anxiety ran high, but I put my trepidation aside and decided to meet with N that evening. I won’t share the intricacies of our discussion because it was an intimate conversation and something that should remain between us. I will tell you that he found the answers to all of his questions. He is ready to open up fully to me and approach those relationship milestones. In other words, we’re ready to be together again.

I spent the rest of the weekend with N and he continued to share things with me that solidified his commitment – things I’ll never take for granted. I had forgotten what it felt like to be in his company. It felt warm. Comfortable. Incredibly inviting. I can’t predict what’s next, but now I know for certain that our foundation is solid. Throughout this process, I stayed true to my feelings and didn’t compromise my critical needs. In the best relationships, you grow together – and the right man, the self-assured confident man, will be willing to do that. While testing the dating waters was fun, I’m glad that I no longer have to worry about picking the perfect dress. And most of all, I can’t wait to delete my ridiculous OKCupid profile.

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28 thoughts on “Day 24: N and The Big Plot Twist

  1. Brilliant. The power of communication! Good for you about mot compromising your needs. That strikes a real chord with me. I wish you all the best for the future.
    Please check out my blog for new book Mr Wrong.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts/opinions and Mayne stories.

    dingdongitsmrwrong.WordPress.com

    • I’m glad you can relate to my story. I’ve learned that open communication and being true to your needs are essential for a healthy relationship. I’ll definitely visit your blog!

      – K.

  2. Maybe stories that should say! Sorry 🙂

  3. Congratulations! That’s wonderful news for both you and N. Does this mean the end of the blog?

    • Patrick – Definitely not. This blog has been an amazing creative outlet and it rekindled my love for writing. I’ll continue sharing stories about my relationship, career, and more. The blog name and tagline are now a bit misleading, but oh well.

      – K.

  4. I am so sorry to hear about your break-up…mine has just reached the 21 day phase so I completely understand the whirlwind you have been through. I am super happy to hear that you and your ‘N’ are trying again…what a testiment to true love.

    One question for you: Did you not think dating after such a short time was too soon??

    I really like your blog and hope that, even though you and ‘N’ are working things out, you still write (and visit my blog of course haha)

    http://singlegirlblogger9.wordpress.com

    • Ah, the 21 day mark. The post-break up transition is always tough. The best advice I can give is to focus on the things that make you love yourself (hanging out with friends, outside interests and passions).

      With regards to the “too soon” question, I think it’s a really individual decision. People move on at different rates and many outside factors contribute to that. I wasn’t looking to jump into another relationship right away, but starting to date again helped me begin to move on, meet people and explore new opportunities.

      – K.

  5. irishkatie says:

    This is the first of you blog posts I have read … and while I am glad you and N have reconciled (and in a way that leaves you feeling good about things too. yah!) … should I read your past blogs? *smiles*…thinks I will peruse them.

  6. This was sweet. I can’t wait to hear how the rest of your story unfolds

  7. Lauren says:

    Re: misleading blog name. You could think of it as a commitment to the new (old) relationship. Like, keeping the “dating” alive. You can try every day to make it feel like a new “date” – the excitement, the anticipation, the butterflies – but have it be with a warm, stable person whom you love.

    I’m excited to see the next steps!

  8. Wow! That sounds great!!! Delete it!!! Good for you two. 🙂

  9. That’s wonderful you are back with N! It’s so worth it when you give the existing relationship every single chance. Please keep on writing! Jules

    • Jules – I stuck to my guns and prioritized my relationship needs. I could only hope that N would be willing to step out of his comfort zone and give it a chance too. I lucked out!

      – K.

  10. writer_girl2723 says:

    Lucky you! I don’t think my story is going to have such a happy reconciliation. (I would say ending but your story is not ending!) My guy’s got a lot of growing up to do and he refuses to believe my relationship needs are anything more than make believe. Regardless, they’re what I have to have to be happy so he’d really need a soul searching overhaul for me to even consider getting back with him. Congrats though, so happy when it all comes together!

    • I love that you’re clear about your relationship needs, and that you’re putting your own happiness first. The right man will be able to fulfill those needs, and so much more…

      – K.

  11. […] was completely immersed in the OKCupid dating world when N sent me the unexpected text message. Once we got back together, I needed to cut ties with the men I was supposed to meet in the coming […]

  12. Dee Glapion says:

    I just want to mention I am newbie to blogging and honestly enjoyed your blog site. More than likely I’m want to bookmark your blog post . You absolutely have exceptional stories. Cheers for revealing your website page.

  13. I don’t know — from reading up to this point in your blog — what happened exactly, but I’m pleased you two somehow found a way back together. Again, without reading forward yet, good luck!!

    • Thanks for catching up on the blog :).

      In the beginning when we were dating, N confessed that he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to get married, or if he even believed traditional relationship structures. After our time apart, N flipped a switch and realized that he wanted to commit and reach those relationship milestones with me.

      – K.

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