Online dating is ingenious. A quick computer scan reveals the basic background and personality of a complete stranger. Beat that, random coffee talk at Starbucks. Today I took the plunge, head first, eyes closed, into the murky waters of OKCupid. Instead of answering the standard profile questions, I opted to write a brief, slightly tongue-in-cheek story of my life (prologue included). This is, of course, part of my calculated filtering process. If a man reads my profile and proceeds to message me, I’ll already know he’s semi-awesome because he appreciates witty banter and finds my writing prowess attractive. Either that, or he just thinks I look hot in my pictures. Hm, I may need to re-evaluate this approach.
After creating my profile, hesitation slowly crept in as I thought about re-entering the dating world. With N, I was completely comfortable and able to be myself at all times. Our similarities and mutual trust allowed me to freely enact every facet of my personality (yes, I geek out on occasion). The mere thought of a first date and having to “present” myself to someone who knows nothing about me makes me want to jump ship. Can’t I just go back to enjoying sake with N while we analyze life and talk nerdy to each other? Problem two: I’m selective and I don’t believe in settling. I’m looking for an equal counterpart: intelligent, career-oriented, fit/attractive, slightly geeky and extremely social (the hardest characteristic of the combination to find). In other words, I know that I have the arduous task of sifting through the sand to find gold.
At some point, I realized I had to get over these mental hurdles and be, as they say, up for the challenge. My first day on OKCupid garnered 36 incoming messages, which, on the surface, sounds exciting. However, there were only two potential suitors that showed glimmers of promise. Two out of 36, equaling a frightening 0.06 success rate (and that’s rounding up). The good news is, I’m geniunely not looking to date right away. Activating my OKCupid profile was just my way of moving forward. Starting over feels scary. Intimidating. Slightly impossible even. But I know that I thrive when I’m in a healthy relationship, and putting myself out there is the first step. Just now, I received a new OKCupid message. Is it gold or sand? My bet is on the latter.